My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
True college students do jello shots in the library
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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