the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
