Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
