So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
