I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
