Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
