Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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