I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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