i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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