Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You left your phone here
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