Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
