I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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