Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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