We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
