and next time when you feel me up, do it right
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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