When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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