But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
