I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
