just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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