PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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