i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
did you just send me my own nude
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
