Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
