no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we're making bets on your personal life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
