the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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