I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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