Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
