i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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