I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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