So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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