oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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