He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
