I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
