you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
