Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
