I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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