rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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