me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I showed him my bush... on skype.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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