Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I puked a lego.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
