we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
