real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
