Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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