was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
