Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
