I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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