What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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