I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
