I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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