So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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