i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
