He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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