I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
