dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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